Tag Archives: “Safe Space”

Real Men Don’t Need Safe Spaces, They ARE Safe Spaces

Angry Girl SpaghettiRecently, I have seen a plethora of silly articles about patriarchy, cis-gendered masculinity, oppressive gender identity and the like.  Granted, men can be monsters — just like women.  Biologically, they have a predisposition to violence that is directly related to the presence of testosterone which is what causes dominance and aggressiveness.  But that does not mean that all men or even most men are Neanderthalish barbarians.  It means that we need to recognize the differences in roles between men and women and it also means we Angry Feminist On boardneed to lay off the millennial sport of bashing men and masculinity.

I believe that it is a good thing to be a man. God created men physically, chemically, biologically and spiritually to lead, protect, advance and demonstrate strength. To be otherwise is unnatural.

I believe that the role of “father” is a sacred role. Good dads aren’t insensitive louts, they aren’t lazy couch potatoes, they live passionately for their wife and children and they work hard to take good care of their family.

I believe that men ought to treat ladies with respect. They should honor them as the treasure that they are. They should watch out for them, protect them, make them feel special. Real men don’t need pornography – it is an insult to the wives, mothers and daughters to indulge in it. Real men treat the women in their life the way that they would want their daughters or mothers or sisters treated. It is tragic, to me, that so many women today have bought into a feminist mentality that precludes accepting the courteous behavior of a gentleman for the act of honor that it is.

Angry DadI believe that men can love God without being some sort of limp-wristed mama’s boy. God created man in His image. We can have His qualities as part of our character. We aren’t ashamed of our need for a Savior, our devotion to Christ, our submission to the Word of God and if we are – well, then our faith is as phony as our manhood.

I believe that men can be great husbands. We can have the character to remain faithful. We can have the passion to provide romance. We can make a commitment to stay with one woman for our entire life and keep it. We can take care of our wife, help her with the children, support her in her professional endeavors and love her without end. Real men don’t abandon their wives, they don’t hit on the women at work, they don’t ogle cheap women in real life or in advertisement or on screens and they don’t treat their wife poorly.  Real men never….as in NEVER raise a hand toward a woman, they don’t act threatening toward a woman and they understand the definition of the word “NO.”

I believe that men can keep commitments. I believe that a man will understand that a man’s word is his honor. A man who will not keep his word or who will not go to the offended when he has been unable to do so has a character problem that he needs to consider. I believe a man should consider his handshake as good as a notarized signature.

Angry Working ManI believe that men ought to be hard workers. We sweat, we smell, we work overtime, we have rough hands and we don’t quit until the job is done. Even when we play, we make it like work and usually end up hot, tired, bleeding or dirty. And almost always – hungry.

I believe real men are balanced. We can swing a sledge and cuddle a baby. We can change the oil and put a Band-Aid on a skinned knee. We can fight an enemy and shelter a family with the same arms. We can shout at the stadium or cry before God at the church. We are not one-dimensional.

I believe that men can be great dads. They teach kids how to bait hooks, throw a ball and Angry Daddyhandle the school bully. Real dad’s wrestle their kids in the living room floor until their mother about has a heart attack and when the kids get up, they are going to ask for more. Real dad’s work extra jobs to help their kids have a better life than they had. Real dad’s may gag at dirty diapers and tickle kids until they cry, but have someone threaten to harm their loved ones and you’ll see a toughness you could never imagine.

Angry GuysSo enough of the emphasis on gender fluidity.  Enough whining from triggered radical feminists who see every man as some sort of threat to their identity.  Enough of the feminization of this generations boys.  Embrace your role.  Enjoy your uniqueness.  Respect the differences.  Except your limitations and expand your strengths.  If you are a man, it’s a good thing.  And if you are woman, it is as well.

Women should not need “safe spaces” away from reasonable masculinity.  In fact, masculinity — rightly defined and executed — should BE the Safe Space for those who understand and embrace the reality that equality does not mean uniformity.

“Safe Spaces” in Churches? Say it isn’t so…

Unless you’ve been under a rock lately, you’ve been seeing a lot about leftist college snowflakes demanding “safe spaces” which block them from hearing words or seeing images that cause themSafe Space to be “triggered” into fear, discomfort, offense or a sense of alarm.  For the majority of sane and reasonable people, this phenomenon has been an easy target for snarky diatribes, lectures about narcissism and comparisons between this generation and the one that, say….stormed the beaches of Normandy, at the same age.  Yeah, it’s all a part of the ongoing consequences of the hyper-leftist, post-modern, self-indulgent atmosphere found in the indoctrination centers known as College or University these days.

However, as one who has been in ministry leadership now going into my fourth decade, I would point out something that will make some of my dear readers feel a mite uncomfortable.  It has struck me as no small inconsistency that the majority of those howling about the precious petals of tolerance who demand exclusion from intolerant bullies spouting ideas which they don’t affirm or with which they simply disagree are conservative….wait for it….CHRISTIANS (at least on my social media outlets.)

Now why is that a big deal?  Because for years, I’ve seen whiny church goers react exactly the same in the church du jours with amazing frequency.  “How so”, you might ask.  Let me give you a few examples…

  • I watched a family (of the fundamentalist variety) huff out of a church service never to return when I quoted (in honest context) a person they considered too liberal – John MacArthur (insert absurd laughter here.)
  • A lady once approached me to request that I notify her anytime abortion was going to be discussed at church as it made her feel “uncomfortable.”
  • There was the time someone left the church because we did not make announcements that no one should wear cologne, perfume or scented deodorant in a 2,500 seat auditorium because it made them sneeze.
  • I was once chewed out by a regular attender because he had to walk from the back of the parking lot because we had reserved a row of parking for guests.  (I invited him to find another place to worship and he obliged me…that very morning.)
  • We once had five families with loyalties to a particular conservative fundy institution of higher “learning” leave the church simultaneously when we introduced percussion instruments to the church orchestra.  (Though the same instrument had been featured frequently in pre-recorded music at that church for years.)
  • I’ve known of people who left their church due to Bible version disputes, because someone who spoke was not emphatically “young Earth” and stated that there were other valid interpretations of Genesis 1, when praise team members were allowed to hold microphones (it apparently reminded them of a night club…I wouldn’t know, I’ve never been to a night club), because of the type of tracts made available in the church tract rack, because a politician was allowed to greet the congregation, when a woman was allowed to lead in prayer, because someone raised their hands in worship, because people clapped after a special song, when their child did not win an AWANA award, because they did not get a special number in the annual Christmas production, because they didn’t allow a petition drive about a certain moral issue to be conducted in the lobby, because they didn’t approve of a book that the pastor read, because the pastor cited a Catholic theologian, because a mixed race couple was baptized, due to the discontinuation of a particular ministry (one in which they did not volunteer even), as a result of not receiving a hospital visit (they told no one they were going to be in the hospital), due to a line-item in the budget that they did not like, and honestly….I’m just getting warmed up.

In other words, at the first offense….they would run to their “safe spot” which was anywhere AA025799but at that awful church that had dared do, say, feature, stop, start, highlight, quote or some other action with which they disagreed.  But in those cases, they weren’t being spoiled narcissists with consumer-Christianity mentalities, they were simply showing “discernment” or “taking a stand”.  There’s a theological term of ancient origins that describes those attitudes — Childish.

Are there reasons to be “offended” enough to leave a church.  Yes, but they are not myriad.  In fact, the fast majority should be attached to a major Bible doctrine.  Yeah, deny the Virgin Birth, the Resurrection of Christ, the Blood Atonement, Sola Scriptura/Fide/Gracia/Christos and a handful of others and I’m heading for the exit.  But seriously, the offense meter of too many in the Body of Believers is set way over on the “over-sensitive” side.

Unity, Harmony, Peace — are not natural conditions of a fallen creation.  If they are to exist, it requires effort.  If we put as much effort at fighting for unity as we do in demanding that everything be up to our acceptance levels, we’d have far fewer churches and far healthier ones as well.  Scriptures tells us that we are to live peaceably with each other wherever/whenever possible and that was written to believers.

If you don’t disagree with something your pastor or the elders or your Bible Study leader says or does every so often, you probably aren’t listening closely enough or watching them much.  Shoot, I look back over my decades of ministry and there are multiple things that I’ve said or done that in hindsight I would do differently, better, more carefully or not at all.  Most of the wisdom I currently possess (which isn’t all that much) is primarily due to stupid things I’ve believed or done in the past.  NO one is always right (yes, that includes YOU, Donald Trump.)

Just like it appears that many “Millennials” are looking for reasons to have their feelings hurt on college campuses, many within the church are also creating controversies and offense where none really need to exist.  It’s OK to disagree with others over minor issues, style, non-doctrinal matters of theology, etc…  For pete’s sake, don’t be a child and take your ball (tithe money, attendance, volunteer support or whatever) and bail every time you don’t agree or get your way or the call doesn’t come your direction.  Such an attitude of self-absorption and entitlement corrodes and weakens.  In as much as our families are strengthened by diversity and through difficulties, so would our churches (and our college campuses and country) if we sort through these issues like grown-ups and quit demanding vacuum-sealed bubbles of faux harmony where we experience the echo-chamber of own personal nonsense.  Such actions create intellectually-spindly thinking and a lack of rigorous growth that comes with adversity, dialogue and challenge.